Glass
by agrove
Summary: "With that single punch trust shattered into a million pieces, glass shards that cut into their partnership so deep that it instantly began to hemorrhage, years of friendship and dependence bleeding out into the dark alleyway." My take on the aftermath of the fight between Ryan and Esposito in Knockout. One-shot.


The punch came from nowhere, unexpected and faster than either could comprehend. The right hook caught the slightly smaller man in the eye and while it did cause damage it was the wound neither could see that hurt the most. With that single punch trust shattered into a million pieces, glass shards that cut into their partnership so deep that it instantly began to hemorrhage, years of friendship and dependence bleeding out into the dark alleyway. The scuffle lasted less than a minute, Esposito finally pulling back from his assault when he noticed the pure and raw pain shining from bright blue eyes.

Raindrops began to splatter on both their faces, falling from the heavens in a vain attempt to wash the events of the night clean; to cleanse what would be forever dirty. Esposito opened his mouth but Ryan just shoved him backwards and began to walk away, the rain falling harder the further away he got. Knowing he couldn't leave his partner in the rain and hurt he jogged forward, "Bro wait. I'm..."

Ryan spun and pointed an angry finger at the dark skinned man. "Don't you dare apologize to me," he whispered furiously, his harsh tone somehow carrying over the white noise of the storm. The two stared at each other for only a second more until Ryan turned again and disappeared into the night.

When he got back to his apartment he was soaked to the bone but didn't feel the wet or the cold. All he felt was a burn that had started in his heart and spread to his entire body, down every limb until he felt as if he might burn alive. His clothes suddenly felt too tight and with some difficulty he ripped his damp shirt over his head and threw it down on the hardwood floor with a loud slap that echoed through the small space. His hands reached up to his head and he threaded his shaking fingers through his dark locks and pulled in frustration as he gritted his teeth and screamed out his aggravation and betrayal. His shoes squeaked and the water from his dress socks squished between his toes as he stormed into the kitchen and pulled out a bottle of Jameson. Not bothering with a tumbler he simple pulled the glass bottle to his lips and relished in the warmth that spread through him, the familiar burn doing nothing to help the burning already tearing through him. His hands opened a drawer hard and pulled out a crumpled pack of cigarettes and a silver lighter. When the nicotine touched his tongue he grabbed the counter top to ground himself, to try to let his warring emotions somehow balance themselves.

The sound of the door opening didn't alarm him in the slightest, after all he was a cop always trained and ready. With ease he slipped his gun from the holster still attached to his belt and flipped off the safety before pointing it at the intruder.

Esposito held up his hands but what he was going to say died on his lips. He and Ryan had been partners, friends, brothers, for six years now but never had he seen him look so different then he looked right now. The realization that he had never seen Ryan with his shirt off hit him when he took in his best friends appearance. The man in front of him didn't look like a catholic boy, a man who never done anything wrong except for small pranks. The man in front of him didn't look shy and innocent, he looked like the people they put away everyday, someone with secrets and a darkness they couldn't hide.

His hair was plastered to his head and dripping down his face which now contained a completely black eye. His bright blue eyes, which usually radiated warmth and understanding looked cold and distant, dull and dead. The smoke from his cigarette rose slowly and evaporated into the tense air. What caught Esposito's attention the most was the torso of his partner. He always knew his partner was pale, his Irish heritage showing on his milky skin, and he always knew he was lean but never realized that it was all lean muscle, he didn't have an once of fat on him. The most surprising though was the vast array of dark ink splashed across him, contrasting harshly with his ivory color.

Finally finding his voice he cleared his throat, "Put the gun down Kev."

Ryan snorted in laughter and flipped on the safety but waived it around mockingly, "Because you said so? Maybe I don't want to put it down _detective_."

"We need to talk about everything."

Ryan pointed the gun at him angrily as his eyes flashed, "Nothing to talk about. I'm not your punching bag now get out."

Esposito sighed heavily and decided a change in topic might get him further, "Didn't know you had ink."

The Irishman regarded him carefully, easily seeing through the diversion tactic. He set the gun down on the counter carefully and pulled the cigarette from his lips with his thumb and pointer finger. "Never asked."

Taking the calm answer as an invitation to go further into the apartment he walked closer to Kevin and nodded at the bottle on the counter, "You mind?"

Ryan didn't answer just watched him silently as he took another drag off the white stick between his fingers. Finally after a few tense seconds he shook his head and waited for the other man to speak again.

"Didn't know you smoked either. Never seen you look like this before," he said quietly, looking for anything to say after downing a healthy swallow of the amber liquid.

Ryan rolled his eyes and snuffed out the stick into an ashtray on the table, "Cut the crap Javier, why are you here?"

Esposito squared his shoulders, "I know you don't want an apology but I have to make this right. Punch me."

The pale skinned man laughed in disbelief, "What?"

"Punch me," the Hispanic man repeated. "Then we'll be even."

The pair stared at each other as a clap of thunder rang through the apartment and lightening lit up the room through the large windows on the outer wall. "That's only going to make it worse, if that's even possible."

Javier dropped onto the worn red couch and sighed heavily, "Then let me apologize, make this right."

Ryan finally snapped, "Do not apologize damn it! You think it's ok to hit me; your supposed best friend and partner then just apologize for it? Then I'm supposed to just say 'we're cool bro' and crawl back like some damn abuse victim. You think I wanted what I was saying to be true? You think I wanted any of this? That I wanted to be betrayed by someone who I trusted… for years?"

Both knew that he wasn't talking about Montgomery anymore.

He slid his fingers through his hair again making it stand up wildly as a shaky breath escaped him. Wanting to stop talking but finding his mouth was working against him he pointed to a bullet hole on his left side, "This Javi, this was for you." Next he pointed to a long scar down his shoulder, "And this was for you. I'm your partner I'm supposed to have your back and what do you give me in return?" He pointed to his eye and sneered, "This."

A single silent tear fell down Esposito's face and with that single tear all the fight and anger left Ryan. He dropped down onto the couch after grabbing the glass bottle on the counter and after taking a swig passed it to his partner. When he spoke his voice was hoarse and scratchy, the cold and dampness of his skin finally reaching his bones where he couldn't ignore it anymore, the emotions of the entire day catching up with him. "You never just react. Ever. That's why you're a good cop you always keep yourself in check but tonight you didn't. Why?"

He cleared his throat, the noise loud in the quite living room, "It just couldn't be true bro. It was just like; if I could get you to stop talking it wouldn't be true. I can't keep doing this man, Ike then Montgomery. Everyone keeps shattering my trust."

"Who's never shattered it?" Ryan asked. "Who's always had your back? Who's never done anything for selfish reasons?"

"You," Esposito whispered. "I'm so sorry Kev. I just snapped and you happened to be there. I know it's an insult to you to apologize but I'm sorry."

Ryan narrowed his eyes before his forehead smoothed and he seemed to melt into the couch, "I'm not going to say it's ok, but I accept it."

"So… we good?"

Ryan grinned crookedly, "Yeah, we're good. I'm going to go shower, I'm freaking freezing bro. You staying here or you out?"

Javier lifted his feet onto the couch and placed his hands behind his head with an easy smirk, "You can't get rid of me that easy."

Ryan shook his head and headed for his room but paused when his partner spoke again, "Seriously dude, where'd all the tattoos and muscle come from. I know you're not weak or anything but this whole thing is totally unexpected."

Ryan turned and glanced down at his lean stomach covered with tattoos, "Late teens, early twenties I kind of had a rebellious stage. It was right before I joined the force. Tattoos came over time and were earned but everything started when I got into bare knuckle boxing."

Esposito leaned forward, "What? Like an illegal boxing ring?"

The smaller man shrugged, "It kept me in check when I was younger, I quit right before I joined the force." He grinned and held up his fists, "Champion. No one ever made it past the first minute with me. Every fight but one was a KO."

Esposito nodded but paled a second later, "So what you're saying it I hit a bare knuckle boxing champion in the face, and not just a bare knuckle boxing champion, but a mean Irish one at that who looks like he popped out of Fight Club or Snatch?"

Ryan laughed, "You might be a jerk sometimes but I'm not going to put you in a coma over it."

Javier shook his head in thought before yelling into the bedroom Kevin had disappeared into, "I'll order a pizza you mean little leprechaun."

Kevin's head appeared a second later with a serious expression on his face, "Don't push it bro."


End file.
